Find out if you are experiencing social anxiety symptoms and discover ways you can reduce anxiousness in social situations in your everyday life.
What is Social Anxiety Disorder?
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is a constant worry and overwhelming fear of social situations.
Many parts of life, such as partying and travelling, can be a wondrous experience but also daunting when you have social anxiety. It can feel like you are being robbed of what should be your happiest moments.
Currently social anxiety affects millions of people around the world. Despite being one of the most common types of anxiety disorder, it’s under-recognised and under-treated.
So much so that it can be extremely easy to have social anxiety, but not know it. I personally know how true this is.
The last few months in lockdown might have felt like a break for social anxiety sufferers. However, I imagine the thought of venturing back into the world spikes those same anxious feelings.
This is why now is the perfect time to start understanding the reasons behind how you are feeling, and working on overcoming your fears.
Physical symptoms of social anxiety
The signs and symptoms of social anxiety are easy to confuse, but can really affect your happiness and stress levels. These physical symptoms can include:
- Blushing
- Trembling
- Excessive sweating
- Nausea
- Palpitations
- Dizziness
How does social anxiety feel?
It can be quite difficult to distinguish between introversion, shyness and social anxiety. As an introvert, for years I attributed my inability to connect with people to my timidity.
It wasn’t until I watched The Average Everyday Adventures of Samantha Browne gameplay, that I finally realised certain difficulties I found with everyday tasks were linked to social anxiety.
These are the emotions and thoughts process for most social anxiety sufferers:
- Feeling constantly scared of being judged negatively
- Excessively worrying about a social situation
- Over-analysing your social performance and identifying flaws
- Completely avoiding situations which make you feel anxious
If you resonate with these feelings, you might be experiencing Social Anxiety Disorder. Acknowledging this can be the massive first step you need to start working on this challenge.
Recognising the reasons behind these difficulties was a crucial moment towards improving my mental health, encouraging me to consult my GP and seek help.
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Ways to treat social anxiety disorder
There are many treatments to overcome social anxiety such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), guided self-help and anti-depressant medicines.
In this article, we will be focusing on the techniques I’ve learned during my guided self-help sessions with a therapist. If you prefer something with a structure, there are also apps such as Sanvello to help improve your mental health with some activities based on CBT.
The tips below are what I’ve learned on my own journey to better mental health. I hope that this information will be as useful to you as it was to me.
Getting started with these steps
It’s important to mentally and physically prepare yourself by slowly building up your tolerance for social situations as this can lessen mental exhaustion and panic attacks.
Do what you can to comfortably expand your comfort zone but don’t push yourself too hard to the point of anxiety attacks.
Please note: The tips from this article are not a replacement for professional help but as many people have been unable to access mental health support due to the long waitlist, the pandemic and lack of fund. So, use these methods to improve your daily life now or to view an insight into what you can look forward to in therapy.
Step 1 – Define your goals
No matter what your goals might be, finding ways to cope with your social anxiety can have a tremendous effect on your life.
As all great adventures start with small steps, your first action is to write down your objectives. Start by writing 3-5 things you would like to do that have been impeded by social anxiety.
Whether your goal is to travel the world and make friends, find the courage to speak up in meetings to progress in your career or seemingly mundane deed like striking up a conversation with a stranger.
This guide will hopefully help you work towards that goal.
Here are some examples of goals:
- Improve your career prospect
- Make new friends
- Travel the world
Imagine your future success and create a roadmap towards that target with the goals. When you know what you want to do, you can determine possible social anxiety-related obstacles and feel prepared with this next step.
Step 2 – Identifying your social anxiety triggers
Now that you are aware of your goals, identify the situations where your anxieties hold you back.
Write down a few things that you actively avoid. Keep this list, so you can work on slowly overcoming them.
Here are some social anxiety triggers examples:
- Making a phone call
- Start a conversation with a colleague
- Being the centre of attention
- Speaking up in a meeting
By slowly tackling those small steps, these activities will help you to develop your self-confidence, change your self-perception, reduce negative mindset and improve your social coping skills.
Step 3 – Improve your health
A few years ago, it would seem unlikely for me to be sitting here advocating for physical exercise.
With the lockdown in place, exercising became my only source of physical activity and I started to truly understand the health benefits of a regular workout (both for my mental and physical health).
Regular physical exercise can help improve your mental health as it makes you feel happier, and it also helps you to relax and sleep better.
Eating a healthy and balanced diet can also help manage anxiety.
Don’t rely on alcohol and drugs to reduce your anxieties during social situations as it can lead to long term health issues.
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Step 4 – Gain a new perspective
Practising mindfulness can help you change the way you perceive your current situations. This can help you understand your automatic thoughts, your experience and your emotions.
Mindfulness is a way of being present: paying attention to and accepting what is happening in our lives. It helps us to be aware of and step away from our automatic and habitual reactions to our everyday experiences.
Recognising anxiety-provoking thoughts will help you to debunk those negative perceptions and thus, break the vicious circle.
For example, you never go to parties because you believe that people will judge you when they notice your anxiety symptoms — blushing, trembling and stuttering.
To refute that view, see yourself from a different perspective. Do you maliciously judge someone with anxiety symptoms? Most people are nice and they won’t judge you for that.
When you are trying to find reasons to argue against your negative thoughts, just imagine that you are giving a friend a piece of advice and remember to be kinder to yourself. We are often much harsher on ourselves than others.
How can mindfulness help with social anxiety?
– Understand your mind
– Stop the negativity and face your internal struggles
– Find happiness
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Step 5 – Face your anxieties
A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.
Most of us rely on the avoidance method as a way to prevent anxiety.
However, this is detrimental to your self-development as it continues to tell you that you can’t handle those situations and thus, further decreasing your self-worth and self-perception.
Exposure Therapy, otherwise known as facing your fears, is a training technique usually done with a therapist, but it can also be practised in daily life.
By gradually opening yourself to increasingly anxiety-provoking activities, it can prepare both your body and mind to unlearn fears attached to those particular situations.
The more you expand your comfort zone, the more you will notice that your anxieties subside while your self-confidence accumulates.
Unproven assumptions built the anxieties around social situations. For example, you fear people thinking negatively of you. Therefore, you avoid social interactions. By challenging these assumptions, you gain a positive can-do attitude, and this can be hugely empowering for overcoming those daily challenges.
To grow, you need to step out of your comfort zone.
How to get started
A good way to start working on your triggers is to rate them out of 10 in terms of difficulty (10 being the hardest).
Here are some social anxiety ratings examples:
- Say hello to someone (1).
- Compliment someone (2).
- Make a phone call (5).
- Tell people about my social anxiety (8).
- Give a speech (10).
Work on your lower rating triggers first and work your way up. This process will allow you to gradually develop your ability to cope in stressful conditions.
By putting yourself in uneasy situations for a prolonged period, your body will realise that it can function in those circumstances (choosing to fight instead of flight) — which reduces long-term anxiety and increases your self-confidence.
Don’t feel disheartened if you feel like some actions are too hard to do without your usual coping mechanism. Go at your own pace.
After all, this is a marathon, not a race.
Finally – Celebrate your progress
After a while, look back at this article alongside your list of social anxiety triggers.
How many of these situations have you successfully put yourself in, when you may have avoided them in the past?
Do you feel accomplished looking at how far you have come, doing things that you thought you couldn’t do?
Look at the incredible achievements you have made so far!
Remember to celebrate little progress, it’s a stepping stone to achieve your goals. Let us know how you get on.
If you would like further support with your social anxiety disorder, please research if any of these are suitable for you:
– Therapy
– Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
– Antidepressant medicines
– Support groups such as Mind, Social Anxiety UK and Anxiety UK.
How to improve your mental health?
– Be physically active
– Get good night sleep
– Practise mindfulness
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